Thank freaking gosh…for once since this sober living journey started nine days ago I’m smiling and feeling happy! Today has been a good day. No, a great day. Ironically, it’s also been a very super emotional day. Not kidding when I say I cried for 2-3 hours straight today. Plus I cried at other points throughout the day. But something is happening. The more I go to all these AA meetings and open up I’m connecting with these people more and more. I’m starting to build friendships. Friendships with SOBER people! Now, that’s something to be excited about 🙂
One person even invited me out to lunch after a noon meeting today. I felt on top of the world – I’m not the type of person to reach out to others first, I sit back and wait for others to reach out to me first (I know I know…I need to stop this). I didn’t realize how much I was missing sober socializing until today!
I also went to a 8pm meeting tonight. It’s definitely these meetings that are getting me through these days. I had a huge ‘ah ha’ moment today too! I’ve been so focused on the fact that I can’t ever take another drink in my life (and that scares the crap out of me) that I didn’t realize/think about the fact that I don’t have to think that far into the future. All I have to do right now is think about the fact that I can’t take a drink this minute, this hour, this day. Such a simple thing but such a huge ‘ah ha’ for me.
Now that I’m thinking in terms of ‘ok I just have to get through this minute, this hour, this day‘…my alcoholism seems a heck of a lot more manageable! Is it going to be easy? Of course not! But can I do this? Yeah – definitely I can do this. I’m on the right path. It’s just a matter of continuing on with my weekly counseling appointment and attending the AA meetings.
Tomorrow I will be in double digits for being sober! Tomorrow will mark my 10th day…10 days. Not a lot but definitely an awesome start on this journey.
Until next time…
photo credit: jaylopez