Today I’m celebrating my 30th day of sobriety! To the right is my 30 day AA sobriety chip. Who would have ever thought that something as little as a red coin being given to you could be such an emotional thing? This is huge. 30 days sober – scratch the huge part, this is GINORMOUS! I just climbed Mt. Everest! Seriously. That’s what it feels like. It’s that freaking phenomenal of a feeling…although I’ve never climbed that mountain before so I really don’t know what it would feel like to get to the top. But I’m pretty sure it would feel like I’m feeling right now!
I celebrated with a group of fellow AA members in a meeting tonight. It made sense to celebrate at a meeting! If it wasn’t for these meetings and for this ‘family’ and friendships I’ve built through the program I wouldn’t be sitting here grinning from ear to ear as I reflect on these last 30 days.
Has it been easy?
Oh my gosh no! There have been some serious ups and downs these past 30 days. The withdrawals the first 10 days were horrible! I wasn’t sure how I was going to even make it through those days but I did how I’ve been taught by my AA friends and AA family – 24 hours at a time! And I can’t even remember how many times I wanted to drink. Lord knows there were lots. But one specific time sticks out in my head – the night I picked up the thousand pound phone (that’s what they say when you first go to AA meetings about picking up the phone & reaching out for help – that it weighs a ton) and reached out for help as I sat in the parking lot of a local gas station crying because I wanted to go in and buy beer so bad! (You can read that post here if you would like).
I’m so thankful to be holding a 30 day AA sobriety chip in my hand now. While things are still difficult I have so much more hope that now, that this first hurdle has been jumped, that things will keep getting better and ‘easier’. I know there will reach a day that I don’t think about drinking and I can’t wait for that day to come.
I’m so full of emotion and gratitude and thankfulness that I think I’ll end here and go write in my journal (yes I have a journal too!).
Until next time…