I know I haven’t been blogging much. I’m really struggling in life right now – finances, staying sober, my depression…and so much more. I’ve really been isolating (both in the online world and offline world) and that’s one of the first things I learned in AA – that isolating is how a lot of people slip into a relapse.
My sponsor “dragged” me to a meeting recently and then created a sign in sheet for me that I have to take to meetings and get signed…her attempt at “making” me get out and go to meetings – where I need to be! And I had to laugh because it actually worked. I look forward to taking that sheet and getting it signed and to see how regularly I can go to meetings.
I “celebrated” 5 months of sobriety on the 8th. It was the first time my sponsor presented me with my sobriety chip – usually I was just at a meeting & someone got me a chip. It was kind of cool to have my sponsor present it to me. I thought I’d be a lot more excited about reaching this milestone but I’m not. I feel like ‘oh 5 months, big deal’…I want it to be like 5 years or something. A recent event almost made me take that 5 months I’ve fought so hard for away. Thankfully my sponsor was available and came running at 9:30pm and ‘talked me off the ledge’. Will things ever get easier where I don’t want to always go running to the bottle????
So, anyways I just keep taking things one day at a time. I used to think that was the cheesiest statement ever (before I started AA) but it really works when I look at things in the perspective of just getting through one day at a time. And there are some days that are more of a struggle than others and lately there have been more struggles than anything.
Until next time…