I’m such a bad blogger! I haven’t blogged since the middle of September. Life always just get so crazy and by the time I think about blogging, something else comes along and needs my focus. So, anyways I just was looking at my 6 month coin (technically it’s 2 coins – a 5 month & 1 month one – because they were out of 6 month coins) and thought hey I should post real quick!
I remember back in the beginning of getting sober. Oh, man do I ever remember those first couple weeks! I never thought I would make it 30 days! And here I am celebrating 6 months! A half of a year without picking up a drink…I’m so proud of myself! I’ve come such a long way…but still have such a long way to go!
This weekend was a bit of a ‘test’ for me. I was with family in a sports bar for a big football game. I was fine with so many people drinking around me. Or I should say I was fine until the waitress sat my brother-in-law’s beer in front me. As soon as I got a big whiff of it, I wanted a drink of it. But thankfully I went back to that place in my mind of those first 15 days of getting sober and it was a huge reminder and reality check that I did NOT want to take that first drink of that beer because it would lead down a road to a place I didn’t want to go…I do NOT ever want to go back to that place of having to get sober again. It was pure hell those first couple weeks!
And as the day wore on, and all those people around me drinking got louder and more obnoxious it was a reminder of the person I once was and it wasn’t a good reminder. I saw myself in so many of those obnoxious drunks. I definitely realized that I don’t have much patience to be around drunk people anymore (of course when I was around them before I was too drunk to notice how annoying they were). Once the big game was over, I couldn’t get out of that place fast enough!
So, sitting here today looking at my coins and reflecting back on these past 6 months…I have to pat myself on the back. There’s just something about half a year that seems like such a HUGE milestone. Sure I was happy when I hit 3 months or 4 months and even 5 months…but 6 months is just so huge!
Things are definitely a lot easier than they used to be. I don’t think about drinking nearly as much as I did back in the beginning (thank God!). But I still have those bad days where the first ting that pops into my head is grab a drink and drown your problems away. Thankfully I’m in a strong enough place mentally that I can think things through and that I also have an amazing sponsor who talks me off those ledges when I do have those moments!